4 Comments
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Paul R. Pace's avatar

I enjoyed this. I realize it’s a work in progress but I assume Astaris is the antagonist? Maybe more of a backstory on her?

Penn Locke's avatar

In a word: no.

In more words: I found myself wanting to know more about the threat near the end of the piece and while it never materializes, you provide that tidbit at the end. Whatever/whoever IT is, it's taking the youngest...tantalizing.

If you insist on a critique, fine: it's too short.

Eliza James's avatar

A compliment hidden in a critique. I’ll allow it (lol thanks Penn :D)

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Comment deleted
Jul 9
Comment deleted
Eliza James's avatar

KJ’s a whimp.